Why You Need an Education

Because nobody wants to be like him.

What if the Beatles Were Irish?

What a Japanese Leprechaun Looks Like

Same instrument, smaller leprechaun:

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep...

I've always wondered some things about this:

1) Who is the tortured soul who writes these demented prayers?

2) Doesn't God want your prayers in your own words?

3) Does God want to hear the same, exact thing all day, everyday?

4) Does God even appreciate rhyming?

5) If you didn't pray the above prayer before bed, would God forget about you?

Imagine

A Song for Trying Times

Papal Keys

You think the Papal keys are cool?

Wait 'til you see the company car to which they belong!

And don't get me started on the whacked-out "Papal hat rack"!

Hungarian Rhapsody - By Victor Borge

I have no idea who or what "Yewsef" is all about, but Victor Borge may be that one person I've found to be as equally amusing as Groucho Marx.

The Uninteresting History of the Piano - by Victor Borge

Marxist Contract

Cornier than a succotash festival, but I like it!

From "A Night at the Opera".

Sort of reminds me of Congress and the Constitution.

Luck O' the Irish - Moosebutter

What's My Line - Son3's Choice

By popular demand, a compilation of my favorite What's My Line? YouTube videos:

Groucho Marx on What's My Line circa 1950's-'60's

He disguises himself as a German from "Strasbourg Festival", Germany.

Bill Cosby's Musical Experience

What Tampering with HTML Code Looks Like

221 words

Typingtest

Better 'n You

Typingtest

The Rion Sreeps Tonight

I've Been Away Part III

On Sunday, after touring Estes Park, where Dad and I got our "U.N. blue" fishing licenses ('nother story), we went to a local church's afternoon celebration of America, called "Celebrate America". Aptly named.

This is where thousands of dollars worth of free food and attractions were put out by the church. Aaron's band, Elevation Jazz Orchestra, was to play several, all-American ditties at this event.

I must explain that the name of his band is somewhat misleading, as they hardly play any jazz at all; it's actually big band and swing music. Aaron leads the whole ensemble.

They played songs such as "Is You is or is You ain't My Baby?", "Little Brown Jug", etc. A sample of his orchestra's music plays at the bottom of this page, and a link is on the sidebar if you wish to learn more about it.

The band's playing, which was most enjoyable and thrilling, was halted twice for twenty minutes with intermissions by a Celtic dance group, whose name escapes me.

We were told well beforehand that this Celtic dance group was to display their Celtic talent, and we Celts were all looking forward to it, Celtically speaking; it was as the last song by Aaron's band was playing before the intermission that I looked around and noticed a six year-old "Celtic dancer".

It was a Celtic dancing school.

Yes, they were all children, and probably danced well for their 6 to mid-teen ages , but I felt a little disappointed. "Oh well, they have to play Irish music to dance," I thought, "I can watch their little antics and listen to the songs of the old country until Aaron's band gets back, and it'll be just fine!"

That's when the very un-Irish music began over the speakers.

Curses, foiled again!

I would say that it was American rock, with a collection of almost-sorta-kinda sounds like-faux-Celtic-ish music. The guy at the mixer board, or whatever you call it, didn't quite get the hang of the thing, so the prerecorded music would get cutoff suddenly, creating even more of an unprofessional atmosphere.

A little miffed that they interrupted decent music for this? Maybe, but the boys in the band needed a break.

I loved the outing, so don't get me wrong. I think of it as just a funny quirk at a "Celebrate America" church gathering.

After the entertainment, they did a ceremonial singing of the national anthem on the church building's steps, complete with a bald eagle and color guard. During the last bar, they released a flock of white doves into the air, which majestically flew away, only to fly back over our heads in a near-symbolic flyover immediately following the last note. I can hardly imagine that such a thing could be planned, which made it that much more amazing.

I've Been Away Part II

Leaving home at eight o'clock on Friday morning, we got to our first Coloradan destination of interest at Aaron and Lacey's quaint, little cottage in Greeley in the late afternoon/early evening, that is, after we had a much desired dinner at Panda Express. Employees who can speak English fluently are desirable in the restaurant business, but not top priority at Panda Express, apparently.

Nevertheless, deliciousness ensued.

Spending the rest of the evening at Aaron and Lacey's place, then to the hotel, ended the first day.

The next morning saw us up and ready to head to the mou'ains. (Get used to the Coloradan accent, which I must use to tell this tale... it often doesn't use t's or d's in the middle of a word, though there are exceptions.)

We went through Loveland, a lovely land, and ascended to the Two Eagles Resort, which rested high atop the Rocky Mou'ains, next to the Big Thompson River.

We eventually realized the television didn't work, and when this was reported, the lady who owned the place said a television "isn't in the contract" and "...most people come up here to get away from the cell phones, etc."

We soon learned that front doors with latches, functioning refrigerators, clear water, and working light bulbs were also not in the contract. These and other things proved to be about four days' worth of jokes about what people come to the mou'ains to get away from.

These things could hardly put a damper on this fine vacation, though!

I've Been Away

For the past five days, my family has been to Greeley, Colorado, the "Communist Capital of America", as proclaimed by a resident.

But not just there.

We stayed at Two Eagles Resort, located between Loveland and Estes Park, and ate crepes and creme brulee that my Coloradan sister and brother-in-law ever so skillfully prepared.

A more descriptive... description shall follow this post, including the live orchestra and the legend of "Big Thom".

The Anti-Confederate Flag, by Ed Sebesta

Edward Sebesta has created this vexillogical masterpiece, lauding it as the "Anti-Confederate Flag".

He says, in his blog post introducing this flag, "...the flag should have an appealing design so that people want to wear it because it has an appealing design."

1) I'm sorry to disappoint you, Ed, but this flag isn't appealing.

2) Why would you design a flag to be worn? Aren't you supposed to "fly" a flag? After the design is appreciated on the pole and accepted, people make t-shirts and hats and license plates, not the other way around. Maybe you should've made it a logo design?

3) This cannot easily be interpreted as being anti-Confederate. Perhaps you should just fly the Confederate flag upside-down?



Never mind, I don't think anyone would notice then, either.

The stars would be pointing downward, but I think people would be led to assume you were a Confederate occultist; defeats the purpose, eh?

Don't Tread on My Cactus!

The Official Seal of The United Mexican States

Have you ever seen a more violent emblem or seal of an officially recognized country?

A golden eagle killing a rattlesnake on a cactus. Um, ouch?

Interestingly, a favorite symbol of the American people is the rattlesnake.

How would they like it if we came up with a flag that shows a rattlesnake strangling a golden eagle?

Hey, rattlers are tough, it could happen...

Pizza, Coloradan Style

Lacey & Aaron delight the viewer with their pizza prowess in Colorado cuisine in this three-part series.

Funny people!



How long do you cook it? You have a cooking show, and you don't tell people how long to cook it?

Shameful!

So You Ain't Confused

I created this blog to put all of the things that just didn't belong anywhere else.

Prepare to be dazzled.